June 25, 2014 (New Hampshire, Vermont)

My kids love this stuff. really.

June 25^th

Mile    1451-1717 

Goodbye, Bangor Maine. Adieu, World’s largest statue of Paul Bunyan. We are driving full speed ahead to Waterbury, VT. Got to get to Ben and Jerry’s by closing time! Vats of Cherry Garcia await!

Thomas feigning sleep during parent mandated quiet time. You aren't fooling anyone, T-bone.

The car ride went as well as expected, if you expected it to bite.  You see, I had the grand idea that today would be the day we ditched all technology. Nope, no games, no movies, no nothing.  We’ll just spend the time gazing awe-struck out of the window at God’s great creation and quietly contemplate. The quiet contemplation morphed into cacophony and Mr. Bullington developed what I believe to be a stress related tick by hour 5.  I don’t really want to know what he was contemplating…..

Excerpts from actual child trip dialogue:

Mom, Thomas licked me.

Ow! That hurt.

Mae you are choking me

He just bit me. No biting!

But, she’s delicious

I need a little space (translated from the original Whinese)

Ew! Thomas just put his hands in his mouth and wiped it on me!

Parental sound bites:

Stop!

Keep yourself to yourself!

INSIDE VOICE! (Yelled at max volume)

Thomas and Charlotte, sit up and keep your hands to yourself!

Mae, get your feet out of there and sit like you’re supposed to!

Stop licking your chips and sticking them to your sister!

NOBODY TALK OR TOUCH ANYONE!

It wasn’t pretty, but we made it…..Actually, the outside was quite beautiful even if the car ride left a bit to be desired. We traveled across the Green Mountains of New Hampshire and into Vermont. Unfortunately, it rained the whole way and some of our views were blocked by rain clouds.  The little mountain villages were so sweet and my gas station piece of pizza was magnifique!

Mile 1718

We finally made our way to Waterbury, Vermont, home of Ben and Jerry’s! We took the tour and bought the t-shirts! Then, we saddled up next to a troop of Boy Scouts who were having a good ole’ fashioned ice cream eatin’ contest.  They were split into teams of 4 and had to devour a Vermonster as quick as heck. A Vermonster was named the Fattiest food in the state of Vermont and is served in a ginormous bucket. It consists of the following ingredients: 20 scoops of ice cream, 4 ladles of Hot Fudge, 4 Bananas (to make it healthy), 3 chocolate chip cookies, 1 brownie, 10 scoops of walnuts, M & M’s, whipped cream and a cherry. It has 400 grams of fat!  It was disgusting, but the winning team did it in less than 4 minutes. After completion of this task, they were awarded the Boy Scout Gluttony Badge. One step closer to Eagle!

 

Valiant effort, Boys!

Shout out, and RIP.

Mile 1746

We headed to Burlington, Vermont because my friend Kelly Bachman said we had to go!
Home of the University of Wacky Weed…I mean, Vermont, and the World’s tallest stack of filing cabinets!!! Can you believe it?!?!? We sped to through the drizzle to an overgrown empty lot on a dead-end street. And, boy was she a beauty! Towering 38 feet tall and rusty as heck, she was taller than the telephone pole!  The artist soldered those suckers together and they’ve stood the test of time for the last 12 years. I am sure that he probably had a real beef with folks who file things, because they are a slave to the man, who’s bringing them down, and isn’t a vegan, and drives a car that uses gas…. Only a joke, people. Love me some Vermont!

  

What do you mean, "Do I want you to walk through the head-high wet grass?" Hop to!

One day they'll thank me! 

I mean, that sucker is TALL!

Hometown boy on the big screen in Vermont! I don't love baseball, but I love Marietta! Go Dansby!

Had to take her picture by her name.

We ate dinner in Burlington and headed back to the hotel to let the kids swim. I mean you can journey with them to big tall statues of Indians, and Paul Bunyan, and Boots, but all they want to do is to swim in the dern hotel pool. As they swam, I sat in the laundry center. Alone. Did you get that? Alone. No one was talking to me! And, no one has to wear dirty clothes tomorrow.