June 20, 2014 (Georgia to Massachusetts)

Mile 1-957

Downward Dog

Thomas is about to get realz

Arm rest as a guillotine, what could possibly go wrong?

Dear Fellow Patrons of Delta Flight 840 to Boston,

This letter is to offer my sincerest apologies for interrupting your regularly scheduled peaceful flight with our son, Thomas the Destroyer. We thought it would be an awesome idea to fly in the late afternoon because “the witching hour” just applies to babies, not mature 4-year-old boys. Well, three children down and we still haven’t learned much. Our precious peach mistook your fine airbus for a Monkey Joe’s. A Monkey Joe’s with buttons and tray tables that go up, and down, and up, and down, and up, and down, and up, and down.  And window shades that go up, and down, and up, and down, and up, and down, and up, and down. Fortunately, it was right at sunset so you were treated to glaring sunlight, then total darkness, glaring sunlight, total darkness. He was just trying to give your pupils a workout! Always thinking of others, that one…

I hope that you all enjoyed the inflight entertainment.  That episode of  “How I Met Your Mother” was a little too mature for the little ones, so we opted out. What was not available on this flight were little individual TVs. Shouldn’t that be standard by now, Mamas? Am I right? If I could have plugged T-bone into some Disney Jr., we’d all have a Merry Christmas.
Non-scheduled, in-flight entertainment also included knock-knock jokes.
Thomas: Knock-Knock
Me: Who’s there?
Thomas: Banana
Me: Banana Who?
Thomas: I like banana pudding! And, I pooted!!
Me: good one.

Other activities on this flight included, but were not limited to,
1. Go all Pele on the nice man in front of you by kicking his seat repeatedly.
2. Everybody choose up sides and try to identify the people on the flight who love Thomas as much as his parents. (It’s like Where’s Waldo, but way harder)
3. Juggle the un-lidded beverages of two children that are each located on their own moveable tray-table. Stewardess, more napkins!
4. Name that Slurping Sound.  I know! I know! That’s the sound of mommy finding the bottom of her gin and tonic.  Stewardess, more gin and tonic!
5. Kids, Try to Interpret the Hushed In-Your-Face Threats From Mommy Dearest. Do they have a Rosetta’s Stone course for that?
6. 4-year-old Airplane Bathroom Exploration 101.  It’s in a broom closet, there is blue toilet water and I want to touch it, the door is weird, why is my mom staring longingly at the childless travelers in first class, I get to tickle and poke all of the people en route to the tiny toilette, I can try out the flight attendant jump seat, I can ask what the lever on the heavy door does.
(Oh sweet Jesus, when do we land……)


 Luckily, our daughters didn’t disturb you too much.  I know Charlotte didn’t take up too much elbow-room with all of her reading and what not.  And, we DO know about Mae’s whistling. Hopefully, it wasn’t too much of a bother. We really don’t know how to curb the incessant whistling habit of a 6-year-old. It’s like living with a jumbo canary, that eats all your birdseed, and can’t be caged. It really is the lesser of two evils and we just block it out.

Maybe we’ll see some of y’all on our flight back to Atlanta! Wouldn’t that just beat all?
Love,
The Bullingtons

Phew! We made it!