May, 2017- Georgia to Mississippi- Day 1

Mile 0- This installment of See the Nation by Graduation finds the family Bullington making preparations to take on the South! Preparing for this trip has been a walk in the park compared to last year when we had to pack camping gear and fly on a plane.  The South feels comfortable. The South fits me. I like the way She talks to me and feeds me delicious food.  She is mine and I am hers. And, She and I are about to get better acquainted.

Mile 91.5- We took a slight detour off the main road, through a lesser known industrial area of Anniston, Alabama and lo, The World’s Largest Office Chair! It towers 33 feet over a gravel parking lot next to a furniture store.  It is constructed of 10 tons of steel and I can’t imagine that there is even an office chair in the running for second place. That joker was YUGE!

She was a monster! 

                                  

Mile 115-  Mae, in her infinite wisdom, encouraged us not to worry because she’d remembered to pack her unicorn scotch tape dispenser. You just never know.

Mile 163- We were ahead of schedule and although we’d not planned to stop in Birmingham, after a little research on the interwebs (Thank you, Al Gore!), we learned that there was an abandoned Iron mill that you can walk through! We’ve never done that before! Because of it’s rich history in iron, Birmingham has been called the Pittsburgh of the South.  But, I don’t reckon I’d go around telling folks that if I were Birmingham. The Sloss Furnaces National Historic Landmark is currently the only one of its kind being preserved as an industrial museum. The sight pays homage to the iron industry and the flocks of manly men whose life’s work built the infrastructure of America.  The rusty towers were oddly beautiful against the bright blue sky.  It also looked like Gotham City.

I'll bet your kids didn't get to start off their summer vacay in the swampy underbelly of a Steel Mill! 

                 

Mile 181- Mr. Bullington and I borrowed some Unicorn tape to cover the radio with paper because Mr. Bullington erroneously challenged me to a little game of “who can name the song and artist first”. I crushed him.  But, then I got a penalty for excessive celebration. 

He’s been married to me long enough to know that I can’t remember new information because my brain is full of 80’s song lyrics. Rookie move.

He finally scored a point when we switched to the Elvis Channel and he got the artist right. Bless.

Mile 297- Birthplace of Elvis- Elvis was living in a tiny house way before all y’all made it a thing. We made a quick stop by the house where Elvis was born and learned about the king of rock and roll and his rather humble beginnings.

Mile 300- Tupelo Hardware- we swung by the hardware store where Elvis got his first guitar. He wanted a rifle or a bicycle, but mama Presley thought a guitar would be safer. I guess she didn’t know how that guitar was gonna make his hips get all thrusty and grindy. 

I've brain-washed them all to read every historical marker. All Day. MUH-HA-HA! Victory fist to the heavens!

Mile 304- The Neon Pig- I found this place after a little research and learned that in 2015, it was awarded “Best Hamburger in America”. So, we had to try it!  I took the first heavenly taste and then got real territorial about my people wanting “bites”. I felt like one of those mama baboons that takes to swatting away at her babies when she gets fed up with them.  It is possible that I heard a choir of angels while I polished off that delicious burger, but I can’t be sure because the heavenly hosts were getting drowned out by my snarls to protect my vittles. The secret of this burger is ground bacon in the patty! And, they serve their burgers on paper.  Paper = No dishes to wash. I mean, that is just good sense. 

Get in my mouth!

Mile 310- The least Bullingtons had not ample time to expend the amount of energy that they bring to the table. So Mr. Bullington and his servant heart saved mama’s sanity and took those monkeys away from me to the hotel pool. He’s a good egg, that one. And now, they sleep.