June 2017 Texas-Louisiana, Day 9

I wake up to Mr. Bullington watching Tombstone on his phone. I think all this cowboy talk is getting to his head!

Across the room Thomas sleeps in the bed that Charlotte built. She fashioned a bed for him last night out of extra chairs, sofa cushions and some fresh sheets. He felt special and she got a bed to herself. She’s industrious, that one. And she will go to great lengths to secure a sibling-free bed!

 

Mile 1758- The Alamo! I’ll admit, I am not very well versed in Texas History. So, I had a lot to learn! And, there's more to it than what you learned (I learned) from Pee-wee's Big Adventure. Take home message: The battle of the Alamo didn’t end well for the Texans. But, hoorah for the catalyst that brought about independence for Texas from Mexico! Remember the Alamo!

 

Mile 1759-Buckhorn Saloon and Texas Ranger Museum-

Second largest privately held collection of taxidermy aka my best day ever. I especially took a shine to the vast collection of wackadoodle antler deformities and Rattlesnake Rattler Art!

 

Does this Antler make my head look fat?

I need a pick me up!

I'll see your eight points and raise you 567.

And there was a fun house exhibit!

Mile 1760-Menger Hotel- I was dying to see the exact place where Teddy Roosevelt had rallied the rough riders to join his gaggle of burly men, but no Bullington was as enthused as I. Mae departed from her normal sunny self and gave us a glimpse into her teendom as she muttered real snarky-like, “Where are we going next, The world’s largest dumpster?” Like an informative trip to the World’s Largest Dumpster would be a bad thing. Kids these days…

Mile 1769-Biggest Boots- It was a little out of the way and on the backside of a suburban mall outside of San Antonio. But Behold! World’s Largest Boots!

Mile 1774-Barney Smith- I’ll admit when I first heard about Barney Smith and his art collection I knew that I had to go to there. In fact, I told Mr. Bullington, “I know we must see the Alamo, but I’m not leaving San Antonio without seeing Barney Smith’s museum.” Barney isn’t your everyday artist. Barney’s medium is quite unique, one of a kind you might say. For over 50 years Barney has been creating art from everyday toilet seats. All 1,300 of his masterpieces are stored in a metal building out behind his modest home. 

 Barney is 96 years old now. And, his voice creaks a little when he mentions the passing of his wife a few years ago. He showed us the anniversary seats that he had given her every year of their marriage as little proclamations of his devotion. He’s created seats for every major occupation you can think of (cosmetology, dentistry, extermination, etc). 

There were seats devoted to pop culture (OJ’s glove, Michael Jackson, Pez Dispensers) 

If it doesn't fit, you must acquit!

Rattlesnake Art!

RIP MJ

There was a seat for every state and the many different countries he visited with his wife. Seats with marbles, Seats with cub scout troops, and seats with pieces of the Berlin Wall.  

After a several minutes of us flipping through the seats that are displayed 3- deep in some spots, Barney sat down and instructed us to turn on the box fan and switch on the TV. “Push in that vidya tape and watch”, he said.  We dutifully started the VCR and it’d been a few sleeps since I’d done that.  We watched a crudely edited montage of all the times Barney had been on television. The View, Montel Williams, The Early Show, Dirty Jobs, and many others. It was easy to see how much Barney has slowed down since his TV days. The younger Barney walked with a quickness in his step now the quick is gone, but the spark of mischief is still in his eyes.  Why Toilet seats? I don’t know the answer for sure, but I would like to speculate that a sense of fun and a sense of humor must have inspired Barney.  Although some of his works are serious in nature, most are light hearted, celebratory, and fun! Can you imagine 50 years ago when Barney first told his wife that he wanted to make art out of Toilet seats? A plumber by trade, I imagine seats were easy to come by. He recalled that his daddy used to mount his deer antlers to pieces of wood, Barney thought it would be funny to mount some deer antlers to a toilet seat lid and an artistic genre was born!  When we asked Barney which was his favorite, he laboriously rose from his seat, leaned on his walking stick, and shuffled over to a seat adorned with old paint tubes, paint brushes and a piece of paper that had long since faded beyond recognition. But, that didn’t matter. Barney memorized what it said 84 years ago as a 5^th grader, and recited it to us today.

When Earth's last picture is painted and the tubes are twisted and dried,

When the oldest colours have faded, and the youngest critic has died,

We shall rest, and, faith, we shall need it -- lie down for an aeon or two,

Till the Master of All Good Workmen shall put us to work anew.

And those that were good shall be happy; they shall sit in a golden chair;

They shall splash at a ten-league canvas with brushes of comets' hair.

They shall find real saints to draw from -- Magdalene, Peter, and Paul;

They shall work for an age at a sitting and never be tired at all!

And only The Master shall praise us, and only The Master shall blame;

And no one shall work for money, and no one shall work for fame,

But each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,

Shall draw the Thing as he sees It for the God of Things as They are!

By Rudyard Kipling

I have a feeling Barney will be inspiring folks long after he’s met the Master of All Good Workmen. And I don't think that meeting will happen for a while!

He lives alone, but he seems to be well cared for.  A neighbor dropped by while we were there because she got worried when he didn’t answer his phone. He was too busy holding court with us! He immediately started bossing her around and she dutifully found the rings he was looking for and rearranged this seat and that seat.

Mr. Bullington has since forgiven me for the epic museum failure in Austin. We agreed that Barney Smith Museum in San Antonio is worth the trip!

The kids got to sign the Georgia seat in his collection.

Happy Trails, Barney! 

 Our original plan had us stoping in Beaumont, TX. But the children slept for 4 hours straight in the car, so we decided to motor on to Baton Rouge for the night.

Mile 2125- We hadn’t eaten and very few viable dining options exist between Beaumont, TX and Baton Rouge, LA. Out of the darkness rose the Love’s Truck Stop in the middle of nowhere Louisiana. We all ate something. And, it included all the food groups: Hydrogenated, Pasteurized, Yellow 5 and Preservatives.

You turn your head for one minute and the pool shark has taken over the truck stop.