The Forced Fun Report by Guest Blogger: Angie Smith

The Forced Fun Report: Fake News by Angie Smith,  Photos and Captions added by Sarah B.

Looks like FUN!

We interrupt your regularly scheduled blog post for a special report.  Coming to you sort of live, somewhere off the coast of Vaca Key in the roiling Atlantic Ocean is your guest blogger Smith.  Guest blogger Smith has demanded equal time to expose the dangers of “Forced Fun.” 

So when we were putting together our itinerary for the Keys extravaganza, we knew the boys were going to be fishing.  A lot.  That was the entire impetus of the trip for Wesley Dan.  He wanted to catch many fish, all the fish in fact.  He realized, as he is a smart boy, that guest blogger Smith prefers fish in the more abstract, like on a plate at a restaurant.  When he broached the subject of taking the wee Bullingtons and Smiths on a fishing trip, he guffawed at Sarah B.’s position that we ALL go.  And by all, I mean all. 

Those of you in the know are aware that when Sarah B. decides we are going to have fun, then, come hell or highwater, we are going to have fun.  After a few chastening text messages and friend guilting your guest blogger actually agreed to get on a boat, nay a dinghy, with burly gentlemen and bait, and chum, and hooks, and Dramamine (put a pin in that).  The Misters took Thomas and Harry, we fun-loving mamas took the young ladies and an incredibly game, Aunt Theresa. 

Captain Alex and his First Mate Steve were tickled pink to see our gaggle of girls traipsing up to the boat bedecked in our brand new fishing shirts, carrying our monogrammed Yetis.  They could tell we were professionals.  After learning that First Mate Steve hailed from Massachusetts and Captain Alex was a third generation fisherman straight out of Marathon, Florida, we got to fishing. 

The girls each hooked a Yellowtail Snapper within minutes of getting their lines wet.  That was probably due to the yummy breakfast of Quaker Oats and fish guts Captain Alex was tossing out behind the boat WITH HIS BARE HANDS.  Sweet Charlotte started looking a little gray and bowed out early.  We were all feeling sorry for her, she was so pitiful.  It’s tough to watch your friend and little sister reel in fish after fish, racking up more and more points in the fishing competition when you can’t hold your head up good.  Lucky we didn’t have anymore landlubbers getting all sea sick and using up the Captain’s Dramamine.  That would not be FUN, forced or otherwise. 

After a quick change of fishing spots, closer to the boys who lured us away from our promising fishing hole with tales of orca and octopi and cuttlefish, things began to take a turn for your guest blogger.  The Yeti had to be put down, slowly.  The FUN beverage was traded in for a water.  And a Dramamine.  And then another Dramamine.  And then…let’s just say, Captain Alex was not the only one feeding the fish. 

Girl's Boat- looks a little rickety from this angle

Boy's boat-hmm, that's a nice boat, boys. 

As Captain Alex said, if you’re sick be sick and get it over with.  So I did, and then I caught a NURSE SHARK!  Alright, so Captain Alex caught it on his giant rod and reel that costs more than all the shoes in my closet combined, but he let me reel it in on account of I fed it.  And then Mae caught one!  We sent them back to their homes real quick, because they're sharks, but it was so cool to see them that close. 

After Ellie and Mae caught the rest of the snapper in the sea, we headed back to the dock where Captain Alex and Steve cleaned up the boat and our fish and we finally got back to sweet, precious, safe, land. 

Mile-O-Philers, this is a cautionary tale.  We all love Sarah B.  We all want to have Fun.  But, we all know our limits.  No matter how many adorable colloquialisms or promises of good times she throws at you, stand your ground.  Otherwise, you’ll find yourself catching sharks in a boat with Florida Man and Stevie from Mass and praying you don’t barf on your Yeti.  Consider yourselves warned.

First Fish Fun!

Fishing is like being tickled by a thousand little fish!

They sure are sleepy and not at all nauseous. Naps are FUN!

Great Catch, Ellie! She won the prize for most fish! Contests are FUN!!

You mean, both Angie and Mae caught a FREAKING SHARK!!! You can't do that from the sofa! Fun!!

It looks like the boys came out on top....Perhaps if our girls team had a sturdier constitution the outcome would've been different. At least we had FUN!