Day 4- Page, Arizona to Kingman, Arizona

 This morning as we were trying to rouse the troops, Thomas decided to revive his Perky Peacock Hotel Room Act of last night.  However, one of his "feathers" swept the bedside table and dumped an entire cup of Mama's coffee into Mr. Bullington's shoe, thusly ending the Peacock act and curbing any opportunity for future gigs. And then, as if the good Lord was trying to distract two mad parents from a  Daddy shoe full of mama's coffee, the room went black as we experienced a hotel wide power outage. Zoiks! We love for our kids to experience new things! And this morning, they were afforded the opportunity to pack up their things in the dark AND avoid using that pesky elevator! Building Character one crises at a time!

Our first stop today was Horseshoe Bend and we decided to go to the spa there. Actually, it wasn't a spa. But, the skin exfoliation that occurs when your skin cells are violently sloughed off by a gale force wind turned sandstorm is kinda like a spa.... My skin is going to be SOO soft and supple as soon as I can rinse off the caked on dust that adhered to my sweaty self. 

Horseshoe Bend sans Bullingtons

Bit gusty at Horseshoe Bend. I look like Buddy Pine.

In case you need a reference...

Our hiking game was not strong today. I had read about several cool things to see, but hadn't planned aptly. One required a Navajo Indian guide (and I couldn't find one on short notice) and our second choice required a permit that can only be acquired by lottery. So our third choice was Marble Canyon. We started by visiting the Historic Navajo Bridge and then hiked into Cathedral Wash. It was a fun kind of challenging (like, you had to eek along a rocky cliff to avoid falling in the muddy water, but it wasn't steep enough to kill me) No me gusta steep. Wee Bullington got to engage in many of his favorite activities like stomping on stuff, kicking rocks, throwing rocks into pools of mud, breaking sticks, hollering just to hear his head roar, and general demise and demolition. Mouth toot noises really reverberate off those canyon walls!  Fortunately, Marble Canyon lacked the crowds of hikes past, so at least we weren't disturbing anyone. 

Balancing Rock

My pretty girl on the banks of the Colorado

In we go! 

Part of this hike had us clinging to canyon walls! 

Mission Completion!

We stopped in the Navajo Nation for a Navajo Taco. This delicacy is not intended for on-the-go consumption. But, we gave it the old college try!  

He ended up wearing half of it, but it was delicious!

Perhaps my family has grown weary of my antics and affinity for weird stuff. But, I'm sorry, I cannot pass by the Road Kill Cafe on historic Route 66 and not go in for a little looky-loo! Mae made it as far as the door before she retreated, everyone else sat in the car. Eye roll emoji. Harrumph, may they never know what a stuffed badger cloaked in decades of dust looks like. 

You kill it, we grill it.

There is a whole lot happening in this vignette. Rattlesnake strikes badger while crawling over an antler whilst baby rattlesnake is hatching, while holding court with message in a bottle, painted rock with inspirational phrase, and an opossum jaw bone. #Captionthis #Iguessijustdid

Not you too, Pumba!!?!?!

Whole lotta food chain happening

We cruised into Kingman, Arizona, right about dinner time. My kids freaked when they spied an In and Out Burger because we don't have those in Georgia. Dinner on the cheap and everyone is happy! Well, Errybody except for mama. Tonight is laundry night and our hotel has ONE washer and ONE dryer. So I'm sitting on the floor of the hotel laundry room rotating laundry and drinking box wine, just like Beyonce. 

Next time, we are seeing the nation in the nude. 

My besties! 

Day 3 Grand Canyon to Page, AZ

 Y'all. I know we all believe that Mr. Bullington loves me. He grins a lot when I'm around. He chuckles at most of my jokes and humors me and my shenanigans. But, I think he wants me dead. He LITERALLY tried to kill me today. It was real sneaky. The most likely way to kill your wife at the Grand Canyon would just be to stumble, and bump into her so she falls over the canyon wall. A less obvious way would be to trick her into a hike o' death down into the Grandest of Canyons where she will have hike almost two miles straight up to get back to the top. Now, I know all about you yahoos that can run an ultra-marathon in your sleep with backpacks full of lead weights affixed to your person. I love you,  but I am not you. I love to enjoy nature, see the views, breath the fresh air, hear the birds chirp and the bees buzz, spot  the wildlife  But, you know what? If I am sucking so much wind that I can't talk, then that is taking fresh air from others, and that's selfish. If I can't see the view because I am staring at my feet trying to psych myself out from viewing the actual hellish incline that proceeds me, I can't see any mountains or flowers or birds. And if Mr. Bullington wanted me dead, by the time I got back up to the top, the feeling was mutual....

Tuckered out

My hiking buddy

So happy I didn't die!

What are you staring at? 

I reckon they call it "Bright Angel" because of the angels you feel like you are going to meet as they escort you to the afterlife

All was forgiven after lunch when I could finally talk and didn't feel like death was immanent. I then exacted my revenge by checking out all of the beautiful historic lobbies of the old Grand Canyon Hotels. There were antiques, exhibits, art, and taxidermy! Take that, Mr. Bullington

President Taft slept here! 

I see you smiling at me Mr. Moose!

We bid adieu to the Canyon and continued Northward to Page, Arizona. The drive to Page cut through the ever-changing landscape of the Navajo Reservation. (We can call it "The Rez" because we finished all 6 seasons of Longmire.) The land changed from sage brush fields to mountains and hills colored like a child's sand art project. Peppered alongside the road were weather-worn stalls, now vacant,  but telling the stories of generations of crafts and homemade goods created by Navajo hands. 

The Gap was all out of jeans and cardigans...

Arriving in Page we settled into our much-nicer-than-last-night Hotel. The pool area was beautiful and the kids had some time to swim (Thomas) and lounge (the sisters). I even donned my swimsuit, grabbed a margarita and hopped in the hot tub. I'm not normally a hot tub kinda lady but my MUSCLES WERE SO SORE FROM THE DEATH MARCH UP THE GRAND CANYON I deemed it necessary. 

We found a little Mexican joint in town and then called it a night. Well, almost. Master Bullington discovered, much to his delight, that his accordion style sleeping mat could be held behind him and popped open like the feather display of a peacock. He then discovered that this made both kin and stranger giggle. He popped it open for the gal at the front desk, strutted in front of the folks at the bar, and then strutted himself back to the room where he added a twerking feature to his peacock dance  saved for those who love him most....That kid. He's a lot. 

The Comedian of the Courtyard

Arizona Sunset over Lake Powell

Day 2: Sedona to Grand Canyon

 Mile 1750

The figurative rooster crowed and mama was already up. Pacing the floor of her temporary lodging, a cup of craptastic hotel room coffee clutched in her hand. Her sleepy eyes settling on her snoring kin. How best to wake the bears....gentle nudges? tickle feet? ACDC? I opted for gentle nudges. Trying to keep the peace is job one for this Mileophile mama and it's not as easy as it sounds. I'm sure your teenagers awake with a song in their hearts and a smile on their lips......Mine do not. But, we had to be up bright and early because we were hiking to Devil's Bridge and as luck would have it, all of God's children want to hike to Devil's Bridge, so the parking lot fills up by 7:00am! 

We literally grabbed the last parking spot and started our trek in the early morning light of this breathtaking place. With every turn there was another stunning vista. The morning sun altered the color of the rocks and they became more vibrant as time marched alongside us. After scrambling up the final section of the harrowing steep trail on all fours (if you're me, or on two feet if you are a normal person) it was time to behold the breath taking view of Devil's Bridge  a line of humanity waiting to have their picture taken on Devil's Bridge. After reading lots of online accounts, we were prepared for the wait. I used this time getting to know my interesting neighbors-in-line. Sarah, raised on Long Island but living in Brooklyn and Masha, born in Germany, raised in Bali and currently residing on a horse farm in Nashville. A commercial real-estate agent, a massage therapist, and a Speech-Language Pathologist walk into a bar ...onto a Devil Bridge.....Happen to find themselves in a random line of strangers. And what do you know!?! People can still talk to people who come from different places and ideologies! I know!! It's crazy!! 

We finished our hike and headed "home" to load the van. Thomas had been trying to talk us into letting him eat cactus along the trail, he assured us that it was a thing but knowing our luck he would sample some hallucinogenic cactus and have peyote-like visions all day on top of his normal crazy. That just wasn't a risk I was willing to take. My line friend, Sarah, told us about this place in town that served cactus fries and we opted for that route. We learned that cactus fries dipped in prickly pear dipping sauce are damn near perfection. We were also starving. 

I hate to see a cactus fry suffer like that

 

 "Oh, you didn't order the ranch dressing pedicure? My bad"

A couple more stops to the only teal McDonald's arches IN THE WORLD and the stunning Chapel of the Holy Cross and we were on our way! 

World's Only Teal Arches!

It was Sunday, so we went to church!

Mile 1859-The Grand Canyon

As mediocre actor and Hollywood darling, Joey Lawrence, would exclaim, "Whoa". That canyon is hella grand! I wish I could station myself at the overlook and watch people's faces all day as they view the Grand Canyon for the first time. I think my jaw literally dropped when I first beheld this magnificent landmark. Nothing can prepare you for the scale, and the colors, the depth and breadth. Surrounded by strangers speaking many languages I didn't recognize. Faces of all colors, young and old. All of us soaking in the wonder together. It was a good thing.

Perhaps I shouldn't have lingered when pulling the trigger on booking the lodging for our Grand Canyon portion of this trip. By the time I got organized, everything in the Village was full and  I was left to choose from a very short list of very limited options. Even the Holiday Inn Express was sold out y'all. I settled on lodging that would "Probably be fine..." I am choosing not to name the particular place because the folks working the desk were lovely, they gave me all the extra pillows and towels that I requested, and they weren't overtly rude to my face when I scoffed because they broke the news that only two devices were allowed to hook up to the wifi per room (We have 5 people, and approximately 99 devices). I didn't put up too much of a fight as I am sure we are in violation of some sort of fire code piling up all these Bullington bodies in one humble hotel room. 

John and I checked out the room while the kids waited in the car. We were greeted with a wall of hot fragrant air. The bozo before us had left the heat on and that really brought forth the scent profiles of essence of toe-funk and dejection. It'll be fine. It's just one night. 

Poor third child...Always gets the creative bed from hotel furniture

We walked down the road a short piece and got dinner at the creatively named, We Cook Pizza and Pasta. The pizza was decent and the walk was nice. We came home and settled our tired bones into the slightly discolored bedding and called it a night. 

Day 1: Albuquerque is not a Turkey

Mile 1399- The time is nigh for the latest installment of See the Nation by Graduation. "But, it's Spring?!?", you might've exclaimed (but probably didn't). While it is true, we normally save our escapades for the face-melting days of July, not this year.   Mr. Bullington was hell-bent on going to Death Valley and I flat refused to go in the summer ....on account of not wanting be un-alive. So this year, we've opted for a springtime foray into the Southwest. This trip will also include the bonus state of California. You know, the state that we've already visited and technically checked off? But, I got voted off the island on this one, so to California we go! Again. 

Our trip started with a late night flight to Albuquerque, New Mexico. It allowed me to ponder anew how much energy Master Thomas expends to get on every last nerve of the sisters. He's quite adept at pestering, teasing, and annoying them to the point of eye twitch. Now, are they super sensitive to EVERYTHING? Also, yes. After the flight the sisters told us, most assuredly, that he'd been the bane of their existence for the entire three hours.  But,  what could we do at that point? We don't know exactly what happened....It's very hard to hear the melee over the audio of the movie you are trying to enjoy in economy comfort while the quarrelsome imps are back in coach.  Teaching conflict resolution the old fashioned way....

Early Saturday morning after we'd barely had a chance to rinse off the travel cooties and settle into bed, it was time to rise and shine for our first adventure! Mr. Bullington and I delight in the element of surprise. We love to keep some cards close to the vest when it comes to divulging trip details to the children. 2/3 of Bullington offspring merrily roll along with whatever we have planned. The eldest Bullington child, notsomuch. If we are not able to predict exact weather conditions within a half degree, give detailed examples of what potential obstacles could present themselves, where and what time we are going to eat which meals and what the menu will include, Oh, the lamentations that will spring forth from her tender cake hole. We were able to keep the secret through the early morning collection of ourselves, but the cat was out of the bag the moment we pulled up to Rainbow Ryders Hot Air Balloon Center! Time to see the New Mexico sunrise from a freaking HOT AIR BALLOON!! Thomas held court with our guide who ENCOURAGED his delinquency as he spat from thousands of feet above the earth to try and hit "targets" homes, parks, cars, nothing was sacred. Fortunately, at that hour, there weren't many people milling about down below. Our guide, Chris, regaled the least Bullington with tales of Hot Air Ballon egg drops and water balloon drops and whoknowswhatelse drops. #Aycaramba 

Bullington. Party of Five. Going UP!

My sweet girls

My Little Rascal!

We hastened back to the hotel. We had to pack up and tried to scrounge second breakfast from the complementary breakfast spread that had been savagely ambushed by not one, but TWO boys soccer teams in town for a tournament. And predictably, also staying at a mid-range, fair to middlin' Marriott chain as one with lots of hungry children is oft to do. Hell hath no fury like a pubescent team of boys set loose on a make-your-own-waffle station. 

Next stop, Petrified Forest National Park and The Painted Desert. Y'all, I know you are sick to death hearing me blabber on about the National Parks System. But, it's America's best thing. Disagree? I'll fight you. I am a music gal and this 10,000 Maniacs song by the same name (The Painted Desert) would not stop rushing my brain. So, I forced my family to listen to it. Twice. And then I texted my best camp friend in California because we shared many a 10,000 Maniacs moments in the 90's. I love how music glues people together. It was a glorious and you should go to there if ever in the neighborhood. 

RIP Route 66

Some Daddy don gone and got a selfie stick! Lerd. Do we have to get a YouTube Channel now?

Next came the onslaught of Route 66 roadside attractions!

There used to be 7 Wigwam Village Motels along Route 66. Sadly that number has now decreased to 3. We stayed in Wigwam Village #2 in 2015 and visited (but didn't stay) in Wigwam Village #6 today. And, I know they are tipis, not wigwams....

Standing on a corner in Winslow, Arizona...as one does.

Finally, we landed in our nest for the night. Our arrival timed perfectly with the sun setting over Sedona. I had envisioned my boyfriend and I arriving just in time to grab a glass of wine and share a peaceful moment looking over the stunning red rock formations of Sedona. Instead we opted to referee the squabbling Bullingtons and their Magical Multiplying Suitcases Show into the Courtyard Marriott. Same-Same.  My disappointment was appeased by a delicious dinner and a hearty margarita! My friend and colleague Meri Kate, recommended this fabulous stop, The Javelina Cantina. It was just what our road worn souls needed. There is little that chips, salsa, and margaritas can't fix. And if they can't fix it, you at least care a little less....

One more thing....I know we are "Seeing the Nation by Graduation". Meaning, we are trying to see all 50 states together as a family. But, individually, I've already seen some of the states without my children. Mr. Bullington hit 50 states with our trip to Alaska, and I hit 50 states today with Arizona! Weeeee! It's a great day to be alive!

I'm just trying to bring back realistic, less-than-curated, fo-real pictures. I made it to 50 states, I have bags under my eyes, my hair is a fright, and I'm exhausted! #truthserum #nofilter