July 2019, Kansas, Day 3

This morning for breakfast we decided to sink our teeth into some Civil War history. When you have a history teacher for a neighbor who hears you’ll be passing through Lawrence, Kansas, you really don’t have a choice (fist bump, Derek!). Lawrence was the back drop for quite a bloodbath during the early years of the Civil War. A team of pro-slavery goons with vengeance in their hearts snuck up on this abolitionist strong hold. They started by shooting a poor unarmed preacher who was just milking his cow and it went downhill from there.  The Lawrence Massacre (Quantrill's Raid) continued until 400 men and boys had been murdered. Just fostering a love of learning in the wee hours of the morning on an empty stomach….The teen and tweens were really grateful. #lying

Site of the first Casuality of Quantrill's raid on Lawrence

Yawn

Mile 899- Topeka! State Capitol

Mile 990- Dwight D Eisenhower Presidential Library- A Presidential library a day keeps the doctor away! Or, makes your kids petition a stranger to kidnap them! This was an unplanned stop so we had to be brief. The museum portion was under construction, so the collection had been culled to one small exhibit in the library. The grounds were beautiful and we got to stretch our legs for a bit.

We like Ike! or..We can smile on command!

Bring back the novelty bloomer! 

Ike's Augusta National jacket, shout out to my Georgia homies!

Mile 994- Thomas says, “Next year can we just go to the beach?”

Don't squat with your spurs on!

Mile 1072-Lucas, Kansas

Well, that fateful day had arrived. I’d been in communication with my new friend Erika Nelson over the last several weeks. She is the gifted artist behind the "World's Largest Collection of the Smallest Versions of the World's Largest Things" and we share an affinity for World's Largests. John learned about her collection from a co-worker who’d heard of our road trip exploits. We literally have been planning our Kansas/Nebraska/Dakotas trip around Erika and her collection.  She has amassed a menagerie of miniature versions of world’s largest things, many of which she’s created herself, and her collection is the largest in the World! However, her emporium of merriment isn’t always open and given the “Albino Squirrel Debacle” of 2013 (from which I’ve not yet recovered) I wanted to be certain that she would be open on Sunday when we arrived in Lucas, Kansas (aka, a long way from Georgia). I sent an email about a month prior to our visit and didn’t get a response, but I mean, who really checks email anymore? I am sure it wasn’t because she thought I was a looney-bird. Then I called and left her a voicemail…Finally, a text response! She used words like “probably” and “chances are good” in regards to being open when we arrived. Still not 100%, but we threw caution to the wind and drove 3.5 hours from Kansas City to see her handiwork. And y’all,  let me tell you, she is a national treasure! She has such a passion for roadside stops and their preservation. We started diving deep into the controversies including the burning of the W.L. Cedar Bucket and the W.L. Michigan Cherry Pie feud between Traverse City and Charlevoix.  She gets me. I could’ve spent all day, but The Garden of Eden awaits!

That, my friends, is a petrified ham

World's Largest Pickled Egg

Kindred spirits

Hey Wigwam Village! We know you!

The Garden of Eden is the creation of Mr. Samuel Dinsmoor. Sammy was a retired civil war veteran who came to Kansas to gain wealth and was a smidge disappointed when he arrived. Instead of turning back, he set his mind to creating an elaborate work of art surrounding his house depicting scenes from the bible and symbolic middle-fingers to “the man”. He started his work in 1907 at 64 when he constructed the cabin and continued to work on the outside sculptures and additional buildings until he was 82. His wife died in 1917. In 1924, when he was 81, he married Emily Brozek who was 20! #ew. He and Emily then had TWO CHILDREN #ewew After viewing the garden it was time to meet Samuel. "But, Sarah", you might say.  "Hasn't Mr. Dinsmoor been dead for 87 years?"….You are correct, fair reader.  But, prior to his death he fashioned himself a concrete coffin with a glass lid for viewing. He has been lying in state since 1937 for anyone who wants a glimpse of how time can ravage a body. Um, you had me at hello.

Herein lies Mr. Dinsmoor. He dead. 

We then headed to the only watering hole in town. A little diner that shares a parking lot with the only gas station. The food was great and our waiter was also the guy who’d been our tour guide at The Garden of Eden! And there was pie!

Lucas, Kansas is this little hub for folk art and although we found ourselves to be some of the few visitors that day, we could tell that this town was something special. For example, we learned that the towns people realized that they needed some public bathroom facilities for their visitors. Instead of just hauling in some portoilets, they fashioned the his/her community restrooms into the shape of a toilet and added a sculpture of a toilet paper roll. They adorned the interior with mosaic tiles and objects. When they could have been complacent they weren't.  I got the feeling that the folks of Lucas just come together to get things done for the sake of art and beautifiying their town. Reminds me of another town that I know and love…

Boy's Bathroom

Mile 1123- Cawker City, Kansas

This is the big leagues for crazy people like me. We’d finally reached the Holy Grail of roadside attractions! Hello Beautiful!

 

Mile 1209- We’re not in Kansas anymore! We’re in Nebraska!!

Mile 1212- Hebron, Nebraska- This little town has designated itself at the “Porch Swing Capitol of the World”. I do love a good porch swing and this little town is home to the World’s Largest!

So tired...

This is no time to sleep! Large swing awaits!

1319- Lincoln! State Capitol

1378- Omaha-Somewhere in middle America. We rolled into Omaha waaaay later than planned. We got very behind schedule with history, and art, and corpses as one does. We weren’t really that hungry, but knew that we HAD to get a Runza for dinner. It is a regional phenomenon that many of our mid-western friends had told us about.  For someone who wasn’t hungry, I inhaled that sucker like I hadn’t eaten in a week. Delicious!

July 2019, Missouri, Day 2

Gut bomb pizza. It’s what’s for breakfast. Neighbor Becky, who hails from St. Louis, told us that we couldn’t properly visit St. Louis without having a slice of this uniquely St. Louisan treat. It features a cracker thin crust and some sort of processed space cheese called Provel. We were there when they opened at 10am. It’s Prilosec time somewhere.

Mile 636- Pass your devices to Mommy Dearest, my sweets. It’s time for a podcast about Harry S. Truman (Did you know that the "S" doesn't stand for anything?) I do love some foreshadowing and I do love it when my kids sleep in the car!

Mile 800-Leila’s Hair Museum (pronounced “Lee-eye-lah”)-The Bullingtons were first exposed to this “art form” when we were in Salt Lake City a few years ago. Well, a little internet research revealed that we would be passing through Independence, Missouri, home to the ONLY HAIR MUSEUM IN THE WORLD! I wasn’t even looking! I swear! This stuff just finds me!! I began my campaign to win over Mr. Bullington to the idea (which I knew he would hate). He was not as impressed as I with the intricacies of homemade hair flowers. I finally convinced him and promised we’d only be there for like, 20 minutes. And, it’s not just a collection of human hair jewelry, hair buttons, hair bookmarks… what really lead me down this hairy rabbit hole is the locks of hair from famous people! Fair reader, you know I’m gonna pay the $15 admission to see some of Abe’s hair. And, in another bit of foreshadowing, there was hair from Alexander Hamilton and Aaron Burr! And Michael Jackson! Other famous folicles included Jenny Lind, Ronald Regan and Ozzy Osborne! 

One shot!

First haircuts of the 1800s

Oh...We didn't know there'd be a docent....With lots of Hairlarious details!

Next stop, The Harry S. Truman Presidential Library! A little dose of presidential history won’t kill you, children! It’ll just made you wish you were dead. As far as presidential libraries go, this one probably isn't at the top of my list, but there were some interesting parts. Aside from learning about his many impactful decisions like desegregating the military and nuclear bombs, we also learned he had a little pet squirrel named Pete.

The Buck Stops Here!

Obligatory Oval Office Picture

After the library, we headed toward Kansas City to settle into our hotel for the night. We didn’t have a ton of time to spend in KS but we knew that our dinner stop had to be Joe’s BBQ. It was literally the #1 BBQ joint in America on some list at some point in time. And, the line down the block told us we were onto something good. As always, the kids were so jazzed that they got to wait on something! Joe’s is housed in one side of a gas station, so at least they could peruse the gas station wares while we waited. #snapintoaslimjim  The long snaking line gave Mr. Bullington and I the opportunity to chat up our neighbors who represented many hometowns across the Midwest. And thanks to Jacob from Omaha, we now know where to get a world-famous Rueben when we are there tomorrow night. After our two hours, I dove into the “Rocket Pig” which involved pulled pork, fried jalapeños, bacon, and cheese in no particular order. We rolled ourselves back to the hotel to get ready for tomorrow. Kansas!

All our friends are here!

#1

We ate all the things

July 2019, Missouri, Day 1

Mile 1: The smoke from the fireworks has hardly cleared and we are hitting the road for our 7^th year of “See the Nation by Graduation”. Typically, we would let the dust settle a bit after the 4^th of July to begin our travels. But alas, middle child must be back a week before school starts for a school theater intensive… so, onward and upward. 

Side note: Can we stop this cray? School starts on August 1^st.  How can you make something mandatory before school starts?  (You’re welcome, Mae. Now, thanks to mommy’s big mouth, you get to be a tree and/or understudy to the tree.)

I have the feeling you are leaving me. I'll just stay right here forever.

The minutes leading up to this trip have involved me painstakingly trying to pack, unpack, and repack. Because although we are taking our own wheels and not a plane, Mr. Bullington coerced me into camping again (just for one night), so I must remember all the normal things for 14 days on the open road, but also all the camping things for a night on the cold. hard. unforgiving. ground.  I was also sure not to forget my SHWEET new travel accessory that serves not only as a functional hands-free carry all, but also a means to humiliate my teens and almost-teens publically, my new fannie pack!! I think I’ll call her Frannie pack and wear her everywhere with every outfit. I chose a nice neutral grey tone so she’ll go with everything whilst stowing my phone, credit cards, admission tickets, and lip gloss.  There’s even a tiny little pocket for my self-respect and another little zippy pouch where I think I’ll be able to stuff any possibility of being a cool mom.  Stay tuned, this won’t be the last time you hear about Frannie Pack.

How does this phone work? And, how amazing is this Frannie pack? 

This year, the family Bullington will be working our way north through this great nation’s inner-parts. The destinations have been heavily researched and reservations have been secured. The car has been partially packed since Monday and in true Bullington fashion, we are .5 miles away from the house and middle child realizes she’s left Blankie. Yes, she’s almost 12, but we are 10 minutes in and I just want to start off on a peaceful foot. So a quick U-turn and an eye-twitch, and we are on our way! 

We traveled in absolute peace through Nashville as the kids slept off the 4^th of July.

 The children began to stir, and Mr. Bullington and I discovered another fun way to evoke eye-rolls from the back seat. I think it was just about a mile out from the Clarksville, TN Chick-fil-a, we began to over-use the term “hashtag” accompanied with a hand gesture…It’s such a versatile way to connect with your kids.

Kid: “Moooooom, Thomas accidently on purpose played the sounds of a rushing waterfall on his phone really loud right after I complained about how bad I had to go to the bathroom” (Paraphrased, obviously. And kudos to Thomas for masterful comedic timing used to torment the sisters)

Parent: “Hashtagsoblessed”

Kid: “Mooooooom, I have to pee so bad because it’s been like 10 minutes since we last stopped”

Parent: “Hashtagwaterbottlewithyournameonit”

Hilarity ensued for Mr. Bullington and I,  #makingmemories.

Mile 541- St. Louis was our very first stop on our very first road trip with the kids, so their memories are hazy at best. Charlotte wanted to go back up in the Gateway Arch.  After checking into our hotel, we rushed to the Arch for our scheduled ride in the Pod O’ Death up to heights that nature never intended. Up the North side, down the South side and done. 

Photo Cred: Charlotte Bullington

She's a beauty!

Louis and Clark's lesser known side-kick

We rushed back to the hotel to change into our “City Museum Attire” of leggings/pants and close-toed shoes. I'd done the research...you are doomed if you don't wear leggings/pants and close-toed shoes. And while I am sure that y’all are all judging me for being a skosh too much of a micro-manager, after hearing thigh meat slapping and squeaking its way down a ten-story metal slide in the July heat, I am fine with your labels. #owningit #nobodylostatoenail

If you are in St. Louis and you are moderately fit, the city museum is the place for you and your imps.  Words just can’t. I’ve never seen anything like it. And, if you are #lessthanfit,  there is a bar and a drag show. So, settle in. #soblessed

Just a Gigantor Preying Mantis because they can!!

Let's put a big ol' Ferris Wheel atop a building because we can!!!

Sorry Mr. Bullington, all good slides must come to an end.

A Cautionary Tale: Don't dangle your school bus off the top of a building, or do, and let kids climb in it.

Dug up stuff

Raccoon Reincarnation: Vincent Price

Doll Parts

Drag Queens get real blurry with all their moving about

Big ol' Plane. Suspended above the Earth. Climb up in here.

How do I drive this thing?