Day 12- Virginia, HOME!

The alarms alarmed and we lugged our exhausted selves and our impedimenta out to the pot-holed, pock-marked parking lot of the Charlottesville "North" Fairfield Inn. Not sure what was going down in Charlottesville this weekend, but downtown hotel rooms were not to be found.   Mr. Bullington deemed this locale the Branchlands Boulevard annex of The Greenbrier. Cute. Short sentence. Short tempers. When packing the car for the 1200th time this week, Charlotte made the discovery that an adorable little colony of ants had taken up residence in our ride. Attracted, I'm sure, to the veritable Golden Corral Ant Buffet afforded to them by two weeks of crumbs and refuse. Charlotte was appalled. I'm numb to complaining at this point, so we swatted and brushed them away as best we could and soldiered on like ants to our breakfast stop. 

The girls had chosen this shi-shi juice bar that sold things like overnight chia seeds swirled with vegan coconut tofu butter for $18 a jar. Or, you might opt for sprouted thrice-milled whole ancient grain toast spread with organic cashew slurry sprinkled with fair trade non-refined cacao.  There was an additional financial investment opportunity to purchase a shot of wheat grass beet juice with a cumin rim to wash it all down. Thomas asked for toast with butter and it really threw them for a loop! When Mr. Bullington paid the bill, he told us we'd be skipping lunch. And we did. 

We wound our way through the beautiful campus of the University of Virginia in abject silence because we were all mad, and tired, and sick of each other. We're just human. We get mad, and tired, and sick of each other. 

Perhaps we should've skipped the next stop, but I really wanted to visit Monticello, home to our Nation's 3rd President, Thomas Jefferson! I'd had plans to blast "What'd I Miss" or "Thomas Jefferson's Coming Home" from Hamilton, but sometimes you have to read your audience. And this audience? Not in the mood for frivolity, tomfoolery, or show tunes. 

Oh hey, Pretty lady!

Thomas testing out TJ's old skool odometer

Treasures sent from Louis and Clark

Calm down guys, we're next!!

Yay! Wine! I like wine! Unfortunately, they weren't handing out samples. 

Bookshelf goals. I gotta get a death mask. 

Well, who do we have here?!? TJ back from the grave.
Resurrected. Boogey-Woogie-Woogie

Monticello means "little mountain" in Italian. I have all sorts of other facts that I can pass off as my own, but this one was told to us by the cute little docent at the door. I don't speak a lick of Italian. The estate is situated so that a view of the glorious mountains is yours to behold, but the majesty is not guilt free. The conflicted history of T. J. is palpable. Monticello does a masterful job of not watering down Jefferson's faults. Paying homage to the slaves who worked this land and their stories, while not ignoring the complex, complicated fellow that helped shape our nation. He was curious, and musical, and scientific. He was driven by progress, and power, and passion. I was taken by the exhibit in the front hall that displayed objects sent to him by Louis and Clarke from their expedition. A rack from an elk, maps, seeds. Now, they seem archaic.  But back then,  novel things from our novel nation. Thomas Jefferson loved to read and study, and write and draw, and most importantly after penning the Declaration of Independence, he brought ice cream from France. Thank you, Thomas Jefferson, for your delicious ice cream and for the nation you helped create!

 Historic Ice Cream Peace Treaty

I REALLY should've stopped there. Called it a day. Bullingtons out. But, no. I couldn't pass Appomattox Courthouse en route to Charlotte, NC. (our halfway stop for the night). I mean, the dirt where Lee surrendered. Where we became a unified nation again. Our history. So, against my better judgement, we stopped the car, again. We all piled out, again. We walked to a visitor center, again. The young Bullingtons raised their voices in protests, again.  We didn't stay long, just long enough to look at the exhibits. I did learn that both Robert Lincoln (Abe's son) and George Armstrong Custer (of later Little Big Horn fame) were present at Appomattox Courthouse when General Lee surrendered. Isn't that fascinating?? No? Just me? I grabbed a pamphlet on the way out the door to read in the car. 

The thrilling Appomattox Courthouse!

Bounding up the hill, eager with anticipation!

Well, that was fun! 

Oooh look guys, some historic markers all about the advent of the banjo!! Should we stop???
I shiver from the icy glares.

Dinner.
Before we left on our trip, there was a friendly dispute among friends regarding the better roadside stop. Sorry, Erica. K-Bach wins the gas station war. Sheetz v. Wawa
We LOVE Sheetz!! I think we had breakfast, lunch, and dinner at some point from here. 

While curving through the Virginia country side we passed over a skunk that that had met his untimely end at the hand of a motorist, It stunk. Thomas assumed one of his sisters had emitted the offensive odor, sprayed a sleeping Charlotte with Febreze which alerted us to the fact that it is time to go home. The nerves are shot, we are all tired from 12 days on the road in very close quarters. The idea of unloading the car so that we can all stuff ourselves into a hotel room does not appeal to anyone. Mr. Bullington decides to take the bullet and drive us the entire way home. 

Thomas: an hour from the house, “After this, I don’t want to ride in this car for a year”

One day, in a land far away, perhaps our children will appreciate all of this knowledge we have bestowed upon them. I hope it plants a seed of curiosity. Of wonder. But, unfortunately today, I think they are just curious when they will arrive home, to their friends. to their beds. To their space. They wonder what they did to deserve  this family unit that drags them hither and yon. A family that squeezes them into tiny hotel rooms (and some spacious hotel rooms thankyouverymuch) and tents. A family that forces them to go to museums, and historic sites, and to see stuffed dead things. We're a bickery hot-mess family, but we love each other most days and drive each other crazy on the others. 

Thomas' mouth noises and incessant hand drumming reached a fever pitch as we turned onto Maple Avenue, just in time. 

We traveled through 10 total states, checked off 4 new ones. 

64 hours in the car.

3038 miles. Whew. 

See you next year when we see the South West! 

2013

46 States later! 

Day 11- West Virginia, Virginia

Day 12-It was a chilly morning in the tent, but our hearts were strangely warmed at the prospect of something that’d been absent while adventuring and camping for two days. Showers!  On the way out of Ace Adventure Lodge, we would pass by the elusive shower house that had escaped us. Our campsite had a bath house, but it only had potties, not the luxury of sinks and showers!  And not only did we need to scrub off the sludge, but we also had to blow dry our hair and put on our faces!  We emerged from the very primitive shower house like butterflies from a chrysalis headed to White Sulfur Springs, West Virginia to visit The Greenbrier! The Greenbrier is known for a couple of things. Namely, It's unique décor and it’s top-secret, government classified Cold War bunker housed within it. Hidden in plain sight, the bunker was intended to house Congress if the Soviet Union decided to go all nukey on us during the Cold War. President Eisenhower commissioned an apocalypse-resistant bomb shelter the size of a football field. And, since it was uncovered by some meddling reporter and de-classified, you can go on a tour of it! You can read more about it here: 

https://www.npr.org/2011/03/26/134379296/the-secret-bunker-congress-never-used

Bunker door hidden behind wallpapered false wall

Our tour guide was a sullen, grouchy little lady from New York. She would answer your questions with responses such as, “I don’t even know why you would even ask that”, or “If you would just read the wall, the answer will be quite clear”. Then she would ask us a question and we’d all stare at her blankly, afraid to speak. Perhaps she was trying to help us experience a communist regime, or maybe she just forgot to eat her Wheaties. 

However, it is impossible to be sullen for long at The Greenbrier! Just open your eyes and you will behold the LOUD and PROUD décor of one Mrs. Dorothy Draper. Mrs. Draper was not afraid of color or pattern or putting it all together in one big pleated, plaited, polka-dotted visual cacophony! I am fairly certain that Mrs. Draper influenced my floral rompers of the 1980s as well as my Laura Ashley everything. She was unapologetically anti-minimalist and while I am not sure that Mr. Bullington would permit huge, bow-shaped, bright yellow cornices, one can certainly appreciate her ability to mix literally everything with everything then trim it with some tassels and put a bow on it. 

All cleaned up for The Greenbrier

Lerd. That's a lot.

Expert Chair Tester

Also Dessert Stop

Lunch Stop

We ended the day in my new favorite town (until I get back to my one true love, Marietta). Charlottesville, Virginia, is quite a special little stop. We walked along the Mall, which isn’t anything like Town Center at Cobb, but an outdoor pedestrian-only street lined with adorable shops and amazing restaurants. AND, as fortune would have it, they just happened to be having a free concert! Mr. Bullington and I took in some tunes while the kids complained and rolled their eyes until we tried to talk to them and then they ignored us.  Nothing like feeling the love from your teens and tweens when they are cranky. It's like trying to square dance with a ferrel cat. 

Look at this little treasure. The last one of it's kind!

Hey Dave, sorry we missed you!

Good Night, Charlottesville! We'll be back!

Our dinner stop was chosen because Dave Matthews used to tend bar here before he was THE Dave Matthews. Miller’s didn’t disappoint! I WAS disappointed that Dave didn’t decide to return to Miller’s this particular night to make me a drink and sing me a song, but you can’t have everything. 

  

Day 10, West Virginia

The birds chirped us awake for our early departure to go rafting. We had to be at the rafting check-in at 7:45, so we hastily fumbled through the early morning light to locate swimsuits and Chacos. As we approached the pavilion where all the paddlers had gathered for the day, we upset a nest of Murder Hornets (if you hear Thomas tell it), also known as yellow jackets. Thomas got hit first and took off at a right steady clip while screaming bloody murder. While I was tending to Thomas, Charlotte got two stings. We Bullingtons like to make an entrance. I tried to calm Thomas with tales of insect stings from my past (a common occurrence during my childhood Appalachian summers). Unfortunately, I didn’t have a chaw of Red Man betwixt tooth and gum to soothe the pain the way my daddy used to do. I guess we’ll just have to rub some dirt on it and let the cool river water numb the sting.  Under the pavilion, we joined  a large group of boys from a nearby church camp, a larger group of Mennonite teens, and few families like ours. We met our guide, Stu, who seemed relieved to have been assigned to us and not a boat full of rowdy boys, but slightly disappointed that he didn’t get a boat full of Mennonites because he said they are very strong paddlers. Today we were taking on the lower section of The New River with rapids classified at 4 and 5, so, the biggest white water we’d ever done as a family. The beauty of the New River Gorge can only be fully appreciated from the water. It is completely natural with no homes or buildings marring this section of the mountains. It is also an unforgiving landscape. My thoughts wandered to the coal miners who used to roam these hills while a few hundred miles away, tycoons were building fortunes on the backs of their labors. America is a country of contradictions. My deep thoughts were interrupted by Stu telling us to paddle for our lives.   We had a ball working our way through some awesome white water and we didn’t go swimming! Rafting win! Our takeout spot was beneath the extraordinary New River Gorge Bridge, the longest steel span in the western hemisphere and the 3rd tallest in the United States. It is a site to behold! And if you are a special brand of crazy, there is one day a year that you can take your little parachute up there, strap it to your crazy-self,  and leap off it all willy nilly. On purpose. 

We left Stu and headed up the gorge to see this beauty from another angle. A slightly more terrifying angle. Especially when there are snakes and edges. 

Living on the Edge

Look, that snake has a copper colored head.....I sssssssee you. 

Last stop of the day was the Ace Adventure Water Park. The fun-loving folks at Ace Adventures appeared to have purchased every available inflatable known to man and have situated them on a 5-acre lake for the enjoyment of the masses. While the children and Mr. Bullington slid and bounced and coursed obstacles, I perched myself on a beach chair and took a nap, then I had a margarita, rolled over and took another little snooze. Woke up and did some people watching. I wondered as I wandered if that gal over there had any regrets about the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle Tattoo gracing her derriere. West Virginia Water Park people watching might have just trumped White Water. And THAT is a bold statement. 

Fun if you like that sort of thing! I think I'll sit and watch. 

T Money getting "blobbed" by his sister

Almost Heaven, West Virginia. Day 9

The sun rose on Pittsburgh with each Bullington armed with a suitcase and ready to depart. Our routine has become walk down your suitcase and leave mama the heck alone so she can pack the car in peace and restore some order to our road-torn chariot. By day nine, order is fleeting and things are usually looking pretty grim. The dust and grime of country roads and city streets cake the doors and windows. Many in number are the M & Ms melted and stuck in various nooks and crannies. And golden candy wrappers litter the floor as the game that Thomas created, "Marco Rolo", has wreaked havoc. That's when Thomas hollers out "Marco" and if you want an Rolo (we purchased a large bag when we were in Hershey), you reply "Rolo" and he hauls back and pelts you with a Rolo.  Sometimes it stings, but Rolos are delicious. It kept us entertained for tens of minutes until we ran short on Rolos and resumed poking and pestering one another.  At that point either Mr. Bullington popped a vein or mama hollered or somebody cried. Wash. Rinse. Repeat. 

In less than an hour we were checking off our 46th state! Almost Heaven, West Virginia! Did you know that West Virginia has the lowest number of teeth per mouth in the nation?  Not necessarily a stat on which to hang your hat. 

I guess the wood comes from a great distance? Lord, I hope so...

We zigged and zagged across the Ohio River making our way between the two states in route to our first stop of the day...Wait for it.... THE WORLD'S LARGEST TEAPOT!!!! Situated in the humble little town of Chester, West Virginia, this structure is such a local celebrity!  On August 7th, the little town even hosts a festival to celebrate their big ol' tea pot! Should've timed it better, I can imagine what a raucous party that must be! 

Teapot, the world's biggest! Sun, the world's brightest

We rode a wee-tiny bit out of our way to see our next stop, The West Virginia State Farm Museum! Now, my intentions weren't entirely pure on this stop. While the name may imply a simple living history museum illustrating farm living in rural West Virginia nestled in the shadow of a nuclear power plant, It's actually home to the World's Largest Stuffed Horse! The marriage of a World's Largest Thing and taxidermy is really something that can't be missed (by me). We met Tim who is the curator of this fine museum. He was a soft spoken lad with a wide brim hat and a quiet zeal for our past and its treasures. It was quite a collection! 

The General- World's Largest Stuffed Horse and a few of his less-in-stature friends

Let's put our heads together.....

Furred and Feathered

You can have ears that are even, eyes that look in the same direction, a smartly appointed nose, or teeth that are straight. Or you could have none of those things.

Our final location of the day was the ACE Adventure Lodge adjacent to the newest national park in our great nation! Welcome to the fold,  New River Gorge National Park! We will be camping and adventuring for the next couple of days. A rappelling trip down a sheer rock face was our first death wish du jour. It was not that scary if you didn't look down. I locked eyes with my new friend, Shauna.  She was the only other mom on the trip, she was there with her son and we chatted with each other about mom stuff.

Shauna also advised us on a cute dinner spot in adorable downtown Fayettveville.  And for that, I am eternally grateful. The Dining options at Ace Adventure Lodge left a bit to be desired.  We picked up our pizza and brought it back to the campsite. Roughing it! 

If you find yourself in Fayetteville, WV, you won't regret a stop by this place!

Food by Flashlight

We are lodging tonight in in a campground within the ACE Adventure Resort. Not much "resort" to our accommodations but, our tent situation includes a floor and a roof and walls of canvas. The sound barrier concept has not yet been applied to canvas tent homes, so we can hear the symphony of night sounds that echo through a public campground. The hoot of an owl. The chirp of a cricket. The drunk slur singing of the ENTIRE Grateful Dead's Greatest Hits album by a bunch of college kids. It's a good album. I didn't mind it.