July 2018, California to Georgia, Day 13 and 14

After our last hotel breakfast, we hurry to our first stop o' the day! Time to ride a CABLE CAR! The line was long, but we dutifully took our spot at the end to participate in this uniquely San Fransisco treat! After about 45 minutes of standing, a stretched limo pulled up and offered to take us along the same route for $5 a person (the street car was $7). The children DIED! They BEGGED! They PLEADED! MOOOOM, Please! I've never ridden in a limo before! Please, I've wanted to ride in a limo my whole life (all 8 years of it)! I'll give you $5 if we can ride in the limo!! I almost relented, but the limo was a little sketchy and we came to San Francisco to ride a gall dern cable car and by cracky, that is what we are going to do! We can ride in timeworn limos at home! We don't, but we probably could....

Waiting for things is my favorite.
No instant gratification for you! 

After about 90 minutes, we finally got our shot at the cattle,  CABLE car! They shoved us into an available crevice where we could stand uncomfortably close to people of all nations and hygiene practices. Gone are the images of us freely hanging from the side of the cable car with the wind blowing through our hair. What remains are visions of me smooshed uncomfortably against a big man stranger while trying to keep Thomas from encroaching on the personal space of others whilst he performed his acrobatic hijinks from the leather handles that dangled from the ceiling. We lasted about 5 blocks. By then, this heifer was on to greener pastures. Moo.  

The fun is palpable! 

See those folks with ample body space?
That is not us. 

Through gritted teeth, "I could've ridden in a musty old limo and you are ruining my life"

Who's got one thumb and is faking it?
This girl!

We wanted to make sure that the kids got to take a gander at the  CROOKEDEST STREET IN AMERICA, so we hustled over to Lombard Street. Since we were without transportation (RIP Van), we stood there and watched scads of tourists drive down this crooked little street while feeling really sorry for the people who actually lived along this crooked little street. 

Perhaps Maple Avenue should employ this speed deterrent 

Yep, that is a crooked street. Please take me home. 

In an effort to expose the children to everything uniquely Californian, we stopped by the In and Out Burger for lunch. In and Out has only made it as far east as Houston and all of the world had come to this particular locale at this particular time to dive into one of their delicious burgers! We were so hungry by the time we got our food they could've served us sawdust with their special sauce and we would've been blissfully unaware.  I learned later that there is a secret menu that is much more fun than the 3 options they display on the public menu. Now I have to go back so I can play stump the cashier. 

Errybody loves the In and Out Burger!

We made made another visit to see our favorite new friend, Penny Arcade. But, I won't bore you with those details. 
I'll bore you with these details! We returned to the room to cram and stuff all of the trappings of a two-week road trip back into our tired suitcases. We took one last walk down one last corridor with bulging suitcases in tow. I am so grateful that the all of the children can haul their own luggage this way and that. I am less grateful that Thomas always wants to play "bumper bags" and that it ultimately ends in tears from one of the sisters. 

Goodbye "Selfie Station" in the hotel lobby!

Goodbye, vapor lounge across the street.
I appreciate the Gone with the Wind reference. But, I think that your fine establishment might give Ms. Scarlett the actual vapors. 

Goodbye, Hotel Adagio!

We took the red eye and arrived back home on Monday morning. After a few hours of napping it was time to get back to reality. School starts in two days and we needed backpacks and lunch boxes. And of course, Mae had to celebrate her birthday properly so she could actually be 11.    

See you next summer when we put 4 more states under our belt and DRIVE to North Dakota! It will be our longest driving trip yet and we'll be spending it with two teenish girls and a Thomas. What could possibly go wrong?

July 2018, California, Day 12

Birthday's over! Time to tour a federal prison! It's not a working prison, it's one of our National Parks! Alcatraz (The Rock) once housed some of America's most ruthless criminals.  Now, it houses all the tourists from near and far. It's also a bird sanctuary, and that translates into lots of birds. I would venture to say that makes it possibly one of our nation's most odiferous parks! Just don't look up with your mouth agape. Because birds.  

Escape from Alcatraz!

We are so lucky that our parents brought us to not one, but two jails on vacation.

When we exited the ferry from Alcatraz, who should we see but Kim Jong Un and Donald Trump! Fancy seeing you here, guys! I usually decline the pictures with characters, but these masks were so realistic! The hustler told me that they cost $8000 a piece and he made his money back in 4 weeks. They take "donations" for a photo op. 

Political party!
(Not to be confused with a political statement. It's just a silly picture, ye who are oft offended. I know they are both looney tunes)

And here is a close-up of Trump's Prison Tat!

I would like to take a moment to illustrate how absolutely exhausted my children are. The parents aren't really all that zippy either, but it is typically frowned upon for adults to fall asleep in public places. Here is a 2 -day montage of my kids doing what they did best on this trip. No, its not touching each other, whining, pestering, complaining, or making mommy yell. While they proved proficient at all of the aforementioned tasks, what they really excelled at was falling asleep every time they got a chance. They were most likely to fall asleep if we'd recently purchased an expensive ticket for a transport of some sort (bus, boat, Uber) It is possible that they won't remember any of this trip.

TIMBER!

The contemplative snooze

The 5 minutes while daddy checks into the hotel snooze

Hotel Lobby Snooze

 Post-birthday sugar crash on the way to a prison catatonia with a lap full of snoozing brother

The Sightseeing Tour Snooze

Mr. Bullington and I agreed that nothing would perk the children up more than spending the remainder of the day focusing on the  Asian cultures that have influenced San Francisco for so many years. Who wants to go to a Japanese Tea Garden!?!? Crickets.......
Nestled within Golden Gate Park, this garden was originally part of the world's fair in 1894. A portion of it remains and it is a lovely example of peace and tranquility....Unless the Bullingtons are there.

I wish I'd stowed my fishing pole.

Even Buddha looks tired

Next stop, China Town! San Francisco hosts the oldest and largest China Town in the world. I mean, unless you are actually in China. That's older. By lots of years.

Don't make eye-contact

Pretty little lanterns

We set out on foot to our dinner destination. Located in the North Beach area, Blackwood is a restaurant that focuses on Asian Fusion and Bacon (for real!) We had a reservation, but it was packed when we arrived. We quickly realized that we didn't really fit in with the hipster crowd or the head-thumping house music. But to me, a loud restaurant is preferable. That way the least Bullingtons won't disturb anyone's dinner. And, It was delicious! We didn't stick out...too much. It is San Francisco after all. No one hardly gave pause to Mae's bright teal"sockos" and sandals. 

During wakefulness, Thomas has danced his way through town.

No truer words have ever been spoken

July 2018, California, Day 11

My day started quite early! I had to make sure the hotel room was adequately decorated for Mae's birthday wake-up. It involved me sitting in the bathroom floor blowing up a kajillion balloons and balancing precariously atop furniture to hang a birthday banner in the dark. I also needed to wrap the gifts that I'd been smuggling down the west coast for 2 weeks. When the sun rose, we had room service deliver strawberries and whipped cream as is our family's tradition on birthday mornings (The strawberries, not the room service). Good morning and happy birthday to my favorite 11-year-old!

 Also, I was back on track with my original itinerary, thus ending the improvised willy nilly of the last two days.
Today was always going to be all about Mae. But first, we had to return the van. Sadness! We were all a little grieved to see her go. We'd been through a lot together! We left some road stank for her to remember us by in the form of some road sludge from Portland,  dust from Crater Lake, and snack crumbs from all the places. I pity the fool that has to clean and detail that van. 

Mae chose sushi for lunch, so we ate sushi for lunch.

Probably should've just asked for a fork, but she gets an A+ for effort!

Time to cross the Golden Gate Bridge! The fog was a little heavy so we couldn't get a complete view. Making the trek across the bridge seated on the top of a double decker bus reminded me of this one thing I forgot. San Francisco is intensely crisp! Someone once said that the coldest winter they ever experienced was summer in San Francisco and he/she was speaking truth! 

Thomasicle takes another nap

Mae wanted to check out the houses from the opening scene of Full House, so we went to see the Painted Ladies. Fist bump, Kimmy Gibbler! 

The birthday girl asked for a pair of Birkenstocks for her birthday so we mosied over to Haight-Ashbury, birthplace of the hippy movement, to get that girl some hippy shoes. Then she wanted crazy socks to wear with them so we went into the sock shop. This shop sold only socks. Some were whimsical, some were drug related, some had less desirable images and vernacular. All of the latter ones Thomas was drawn to like a moth to a flame. Speaking of flames, we bought Thomas socks with flames because that seemed like a moderately appropriate theme for an 8 year old.  Mae chose one with unicorns and rainbows (shocking!) and another pair with dinosaurs and tacos? She called them her sockos because she's clever like that. She's also honing her tourist "look". Those bright teal dinosaur "sockos" are going to look uniquely awesome with her Birkenstocks. 

Peace!

The next stop was actually my suggestion because Mae might not know that she wants to stop over at a museum of antique arcade games, but she does. I had several people tell me that I needed to check this place out because my friends get me.  The Musee Mecanique is a privately owned collection of over 600 arcade games from the turn of the last century through the 1980s. It was like stepping back in time. It was also the cheapest thing we did in San Fran because all of the games cost a quarter. And dear readers, I know we worry about today's video games being violent (I agree!) but the games of yore and yesteryear dabbled in the macabre to say the least! The animatronic dioramas included THE EXECUTIONER!  Also,  the FRENCH EXECUTIONER where Pierre slaps you about the face and head with a baguette, not really. 
The French will behead you every. time.  
You simply dropped in a quarter, and some little doll would meet the swift hand of justice . Some were bawdy, some were in poor taste, but it was a hit with everyone. Except when Charlotte schooled Mr. Bullington at Air Hockey, and then did it again. 

Introducing THE EXECUTIONER

Le EXECUTIONER!

What on earth?

Pinball Wizard

Naughty Marietta's "Stuff" included sitting fully-clothed in a fancy chair. Naughty!

Uncle Sam Passion Meter, Turns out I'm a Yankee Doodle Dandy!
At least, that is what he SHOULD have said....

The prisoners at San Quintin were quite the crafty lot back in the day

In lieu of giving each other face tattoos, perhaps arts and crafts would be a decent alternative for today's incarcerated.  Hey Tiny,  nice job on the Macrame plant hanger!

This was called "Songs of the Prairie". Not being one who is easily offended, I quickly ponied up a quarter. 

Spoiler Alert: It tooted. Meet Thomas' favorite antique arcade game.

Made. of. Nightmares.

Next stop, Mae wanted Chocolate! We headed toward Ghirardelli Square to visit the historic Chocolate Factory. It was a little disappointing because it really is just a tourist trap. But, we did get to watch them make chocolate and we got the world famous hot fudge sundae for pre-dinner dessert.

We are so fortunate to have a happy healthy 11-year old. But, our Mae-Mae was diagnosed with Celiac Disease at age 3. That means she is on a strict Gluten Free diet. What else does that mean? Not much. We've taught her that it is not her identity and that she is much bigger than some silly dietary restriction. There are always great options for her at most places and she has a great attitude about it. But sometimes she does get a little down in the mouth when she has to substitute for all of the "kid" food that her friends eat (pizza, chicken nuggets, cupcakes, cookies, Mac and Cheese, sub sandwiches, anything Italian). We did our research and discovered this Italian Restaurant that offered almost their entire menu with Gluten Free pastas. You would have thought that child had died and gone to Heaven! It was delicious and I highly recommend Puccini and Pinetti, especially if you are GF in SF! 

The "build your own pizza" option on the kids menu actually allowed kids to make their own pizza and send it back to the kitchen for cooking!

Palate cleansing sorbet before  3nd dessert

Get in my belly!

The front desk got wind of Mae's big day. Could've been the "Birthday Girl" sash she wore all day. This was waiting in our room when we got home that night. 4th Dessert.....